Back to Sg

hi all,

i just came back from Tokyo... on board the new A380... Whoooo Hooo...
but i have a headache now... as big as the new aircraft's head. the ride was pretty comfortable .the aircraft felt considerably heavier... which is also a very scary thought... it really had to use the entire length of the air strip from end to end... taking off and landing. and because i was seated near to the Suites Section.... OMGAWD.... ATAS like Hell lor.... its like individual cubicles with plush leather seats and.... many more... whao.z.... u can have have your own honeymoon there lar...and maybe even "painting" whahahah

okie back to my headache, the headache was'nt from the air turbulence nor from the earthquAKE...!!! YES you could feel it in Tokyo... if u are on a sky scarper which happens to be where i was staying .. luckily i was down early at Macs. My sis swore that the hangers in the room were swinging... phew... MacGrindles saved me from the trauma. whahahaha


i nvr quite came back from Tokyo with so much emo feelings... i always looked foward going back there... and lead to some of my friends commenting that Tokyo is like Kl and Bangkok to me... but somehow i did not really get it this time round. i dun think i am getting bored of Tokyo not at all.....because every time i go there i see something new and exciting... and i always find new places to go... and who can get tired of shopping and seeing beautiful things. they kinda make u happy... right?

but maybe because Tokyo has many fond memories for me and i keep going back there searching for it. i always try to recall those years back when i was 21or so ... when my life was simple and kinda well provided.... i did not have so much at stake. its like every decision i make now seems to weigh like a Zillion tons and i have so many much more obligations to fulfill and its like i cannot afford anymore mistakes.

and its growing up... i guess. but recently a lot has been going ard in my life. many incidents which made me rethink about who i really want to be. Solid truths and ideals that i held on so dearly in my early twenties started to backfire and erode on me. i just recently quarrelled and ended my friendship with a friend i had knwn for like almost my entire conscious life.

Things which i had expected expected to be absolute truths are ..... less true than they are. its like ... i am almost thinking of a major re orientation of my goals in life.... its like ... i want to re chart my life and make my life easier and more enjoyable.

a major retrospective? can you call it? some pple are focused. and i have often been tagged in my life, so far by my parents as being unfocused and ....a lot more unpleasant stuff which i rather not talk about.

so what do i really want? i am still thinking about it... and restless... its like maybe i am afraid of commitments and i dun really take failure in my stride well. perhaps i am suffering from the recent highness after paying my yearly homage to my "gods" in japan...the after shocks of high?

i dunno... but i just find happiness very distant and sometimes even doubt whether there is such a thing as real happiness.

Let me ask you all... where do u build your happiness from?


cheers!
cs